[If Jaime knew how Killua would fall apart at that idea, maybe he'd take some comfort in knowing that this reaction, while clearly heavy, is not anything near what he'd be reacting with if Gon were the one in danger. Somehow, Alluka slips from his mind as something throbs at the back of his head. (Was she even there to begin with?)]
We were almost at the nest. Kite was really, really powerful, but this ant-- it came out of nowhere.
[He closes his eyes tighter, preventing any of the tears working up in his eyes from actually escaping. But his body begins to shake beneath that comforting hand. As fear resurfaces, so does sadness, and the scuffs on his hands are actually healing away beneath his hidden face, there.]
I've never felt an aura that powerful in my life. Nothing even close--! The second I felt it, Kite had already lost his arm!
[It's impossible to forget that look that followed. The fear that gripped him then grips him now, and the throbbing in his head only gets worse. Maybe his body is tricked into thinking he's in danger now. He's not sure, but he can't focus enough to think on it. He can only tense and struggle to keep himself more together than he had with Jojo.
Even if the tears aren't really coming out, sadness shows itself further in the way he chokes out his words.]
Gon was angry; he was going to fight back. We were going to die too if I didn't do something, and so I knocked out Gon and I ran! I left Kite! I left him there to die!
He wakes up and tells me that everything's going to be fine, that I did what I should have because we could save Kite, but that's wrong! It's all wrong! Kite was here until recently, too, and he told me himself--!
[Damn-- Damn. He curls in on himself more, hands parting from each other to grip at his head. It hurts now. He forces his volume back down despite himself.] He's dead. And if Gon finds out, there's no way he'll react calmly... There's no way he'll be okay.
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We were almost at the nest. Kite was really, really powerful, but this ant-- it came out of nowhere.
[He closes his eyes tighter, preventing any of the tears working up in his eyes from actually escaping. But his body begins to shake beneath that comforting hand. As fear resurfaces, so does sadness, and the scuffs on his hands are actually healing away beneath his hidden face, there.]
I've never felt an aura that powerful in my life. Nothing even close--! The second I felt it, Kite had already lost his arm!
[It's impossible to forget that look that followed. The fear that gripped him then grips him now, and the throbbing in his head only gets worse. Maybe his body is tricked into thinking he's in danger now. He's not sure, but he can't focus enough to think on it. He can only tense and struggle to keep himself more together than he had with Jojo.
Even if the tears aren't really coming out, sadness shows itself further in the way he chokes out his words.]
Gon was angry; he was going to fight back. We were going to die too if I didn't do something, and so I knocked out Gon and I ran! I left Kite! I left him there to die!
He wakes up and tells me that everything's going to be fine, that I did what I should have because we could save Kite, but that's wrong! It's all wrong! Kite was here until recently, too, and he told me himself--!
[Damn-- Damn. He curls in on himself more, hands parting from each other to grip at his head. It hurts now. He forces his volume back down despite himself.] He's dead. And if Gon finds out, there's no way he'll react calmly... There's no way he'll be okay.