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[The first portion does wonders to comfort him. So it isn't just a stretch? It's happened before that someone came back recently. The second, though... Well. He's pretty stubborn himself, and he's got some negative thoughts about being without Gon.
Not alone... He guesses not. Somehow, he's been able to make friends. But none of them are his best friend. Is it wrong to think this way? It's his first experience dealing with this sort of thing. Can he have lots of friends but have them ultimately mean less than one without demeaning their value too?
He decides in the end that saying 'I don't want to be anywhere Gon isn't' is pretty lame sounding, and looks across his room.]
Maybe I don't really know much about friendship, but... Is it really okay if I haven't been talking to any of my friends here? I don't know what to say. It's been easier just to focus on training.
Not alone... He guesses not. Somehow, he's been able to make friends. But none of them are his best friend. Is it wrong to think this way? It's his first experience dealing with this sort of thing. Can he have lots of friends but have them ultimately mean less than one without demeaning their value too?
He decides in the end that saying 'I don't want to be anywhere Gon isn't' is pretty lame sounding, and looks across his room.]
Maybe I don't really know much about friendship, but... Is it really okay if I haven't been talking to any of my friends here? I don't know what to say. It's been easier just to focus on training.
...Yeah. Yeah, I can see why it's easier that way.
[He gets it. When he's sad, there's nothing he wants more to go flying, to go somewhere and be alone for a little while, but somehow, he always ends up back home where he belongs.
The difference here is that Killua hasn't bent quite yet. He needs to learn how to reach out to people, Jaime thinks. Maybe Killua's gotten good at surviving without having to rely on anyone else, but life's a whole lot better when you do.]
It's okay to concentrate on what you have to for a while to get you past the first hump, but you have to reach out to talk to us eventually. If you don't, we'll be reaching out to you, [Jaime adds on with a crooked smile.] That's what friends are for.
[He gets it. When he's sad, there's nothing he wants more to go flying, to go somewhere and be alone for a little while, but somehow, he always ends up back home where he belongs.
The difference here is that Killua hasn't bent quite yet. He needs to learn how to reach out to people, Jaime thinks. Maybe Killua's gotten good at surviving without having to rely on anyone else, but life's a whole lot better when you do.]
It's okay to concentrate on what you have to for a while to get you past the first hump, but you have to reach out to talk to us eventually. If you don't, we'll be reaching out to you, [Jaime adds on with a crooked smile.] That's what friends are for.
You've missed some stuff but everybody's focused on the holiday break! You can borrow my notes if there's anything you really want to know about. [After they're heavily edited and rewritten and all the embarrassing doodles are removed.]
But yeah, I guess it doesn't matter. [She looks around at his kitchen with interest, dumping her bag of stuff on the table and wrestling the lid off the ice cream.] Saving people and making friends and having super cool adventures, that's what matters!
But yeah, I guess it doesn't matter. [She looks around at his kitchen with interest, dumping her bag of stuff on the table and wrestling the lid off the ice cream.] Saving people and making friends and having super cool adventures, that's what matters!
[That crooked smile earns a much more genuine one from Killua. Right. They do do that, don't they. Looking back to when he retreated home out of nowhere and all three of his friends from back home showed up...
He lets out a soft sort of half-laugh.]
I guess you're right. [Take that, big bro. He's making even more friends.] I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have friends like these.
He lets out a soft sort of half-laugh.]
I guess you're right. [Take that, big bro. He's making even more friends.] I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have friends like these.
Hmm, I haven't been able to do much of those, though. I made friends, at least.
[But the adventure part... They caught an alligator? That's about it. Moving across the kitchen with practiced ease, he tiptoes to get into the cabinets and pull out a couple of bowls. From there, it's the spoons, the ice cream scoop, and-- ah, it seems he has toppings available, too.]
[But the adventure part... They caught an alligator? That's about it. Moving across the kitchen with practiced ease, he tiptoes to get into the cabinets and pull out a couple of bowls. From there, it's the spoons, the ice cream scoop, and-- ah, it seems he has toppings available, too.]
You helped save people in the maze! Who knows what those guys you fought would've done if you hadn't been there?
[She bounces a little bit in anticipation. She grabs the scoop and starts dividing the ice cream into two bowls, making sure the one Killua gets has the most.]
I guess most of this stuff doesn't count as an adventure to you, though, since your life is so exciting and cool all the time.
[She bounces a little bit in anticipation. She grabs the scoop and starts dividing the ice cream into two bowls, making sure the one Killua gets has the most.]
I guess most of this stuff doesn't count as an adventure to you, though, since your life is so exciting and cool all the time.
Actually, I don't really think I was helpful in the maze, either...
[Everyone helped themselves in the end, didn't they? Mabel included. He makes a face like he's troubled by this memory (Kite was there, too), but that fades soon enough into something a little more neutral.]
I wouldn't really say my life is cool either. [What? Denying something about himself as cool? He sorts out the syrup and cookie crumbs on the counter, watching Mabel with interest.]
My family's nuts, my big brother is a total creep and hangs out with an even bigger freak that likes following me and Gon around, and we're always getting involved in dangerous, uncool things! ...It's kind of tiring.
[Everyone helped themselves in the end, didn't they? Mabel included. He makes a face like he's troubled by this memory (Kite was there, too), but that fades soon enough into something a little more neutral.]
I wouldn't really say my life is cool either. [What? Denying something about himself as cool? He sorts out the syrup and cookie crumbs on the counter, watching Mabel with interest.]
My family's nuts, my big brother is a total creep and hangs out with an even bigger freak that likes following me and Gon around, and we're always getting involved in dangerous, uncool things! ...It's kind of tiring.
[ Her enthusiasm for the toppings dies down as Killua starts describing his life back home. By the time he admits how tiring it is, she's stopped paying any attention to the ice cream at all.]
That's... [Depressing? Disheartening? Mabel had no idea Killua had all that to deal with. Sure, she knew about his assassin background, but... this isn't what she was picturing. She thought it was romantic and cool-- this is complicated. This might be a challenge to fix.]
...yeah. It sounds tiring. Why's your brother a creep? [Mabel hopes it's because of his internet search history or an inappropriate crush on a teenager. Those, at least, she knows how to deal with.]
That's... [Depressing? Disheartening? Mabel had no idea Killua had all that to deal with. Sure, she knew about his assassin background, but... this isn't what she was picturing. She thought it was romantic and cool-- this is complicated. This might be a challenge to fix.]
...yeah. It sounds tiring. Why's your brother a creep? [Mabel hopes it's because of his internet search history or an inappropriate crush on a teenager. Those, at least, she knows how to deal with.]
[His internet search history is probably a lot of rich old guys... Still weird, but not quite what Killua's talking about here. He blinks, wondering how far he should get into this with Mabel. She seems a lot more innocent, and honestly, he's not sure how to handle it. Talking to his sister is one thing, but to another girl?]
He's always trying to control me. Following me around and telling me that friends are useless and bad for me, and that I'd just end up hurting them. He's upset that I quit being an assassin, I think.
He's always trying to control me. Following me around and telling me that friends are useless and bad for me, and that I'd just end up hurting them. He's upset that I quit being an assassin, I think.
And you're just gonna end up collecting more of them, just you wait.
[Especially if the network had been any indication; if the imPort community has a soft spot for anyone, it's kids. Killua could probably beat the lot of them up with one hand tied behind his back, but not everything boiled down to being able to fight around here.]
So, [he says, clapping his hands on his knees for emphasis.] Think you might want to step away from the non-stop training for a while? Some off time will be good for you.
[Especially if the network had been any indication; if the imPort community has a soft spot for anyone, it's kids. Killua could probably beat the lot of them up with one hand tied behind his back, but not everything boiled down to being able to fight around here.]
So, [he says, clapping his hands on his knees for emphasis.] Think you might want to step away from the non-stop training for a while? Some off time will be good for you.
[For a second Mabel's just stunned. It's always a little difficult for her to see siblings who aren't as close as her and Dipper, but she's gotten used to it. Sometimes brothers and sisters just don't get along as well as they do. But there's a huge difference between a brother who calls his brother names and one who's actively trying to ruin his whole life!
The shock doesn't last for more than a second before she gets angry. Mabel jabs her spoon in the air, as if Killua's brother is right there and silverware is any kind of effective weapon at all.]
He what!?! What the heck, your brother is the biggest jerk! [Now she's waving the spoon around for emphasis, her voice just a little big shoutier than strictly necessary.] What a huge liar! You'd only hurt your friends if you did what he wanted, and like he'd know about friendship and stuff if all he does is hang around with creepy people and try to make your life suck!
The shock doesn't last for more than a second before she gets angry. Mabel jabs her spoon in the air, as if Killua's brother is right there and silverware is any kind of effective weapon at all.]
He what!?! What the heck, your brother is the biggest jerk! [Now she's waving the spoon around for emphasis, her voice just a little big shoutier than strictly necessary.] What a huge liar! You'd only hurt your friends if you did what he wanted, and like he'd know about friendship and stuff if all he does is hang around with creepy people and try to make your life suck!
[Her outburst actually startles Killua. Thoroughly distracted by her motions, he steps back the slightest bit from her spoon waving, his shocked expression slowly fading into something honestly torn.
He agrees with her. He's always complained about it, since he grew old enough to realize how restricting it was. But somehow now, self doubt nagged at the back of his mind. The constant thoughts and desires to run didn't help, and a recent decision to abandon a friend to die in order to carry Gon away had sealed the deal. He was troubled over all of this, and Illumi's face was tied to it all.
But--]
Do you ever feel scared? [He asks this out of nowhere, soft and curious, but toned just casually enough to sound like he doesn't mind if the answer goes one way or the other.] That I've killed a bunch of people. Does it ever feel like I could hurt you?
[That's what he's worried about. He'd never do it-- but his brother keeps warning that it'll happen anyway. And with recent news from Hisoka about Gon...]
He agrees with her. He's always complained about it, since he grew old enough to realize how restricting it was. But somehow now, self doubt nagged at the back of his mind. The constant thoughts and desires to run didn't help, and a recent decision to abandon a friend to die in order to carry Gon away had sealed the deal. He was troubled over all of this, and Illumi's face was tied to it all.
But--]
Do you ever feel scared? [He asks this out of nowhere, soft and curious, but toned just casually enough to sound like he doesn't mind if the answer goes one way or the other.] That I've killed a bunch of people. Does it ever feel like I could hurt you?
[That's what he's worried about. He'd never do it-- but his brother keeps warning that it'll happen anyway. And with recent news from Hisoka about Gon...]
I-- what? [She calms down at his question, confusion all over her face. Did he really just ask her that?] Of course not!
[The answer is a reflex-- she's never even considered being scared of him. Killua's her friend.
He's killed people, though... she thinks back, to all the times she's seen him fight. Killua's strong, definitely. Like, way stronger than anybody she's ever met, and probably much stronger than any of the weird terrifying stuff she's seen in Gravity Falls. Even knowing that, though, she can't even bring herself to be nervous around him.
Mabel shakes her head forcefully.]
No way! I don't think you ever would, so I never worry about it. You're my friend, Killua-- I trust you!
[She says it confidently, like there's no other option. He's a good guy, case closed.]
[The answer is a reflex-- she's never even considered being scared of him. Killua's her friend.
He's killed people, though... she thinks back, to all the times she's seen him fight. Killua's strong, definitely. Like, way stronger than anybody she's ever met, and probably much stronger than any of the weird terrifying stuff she's seen in Gravity Falls. Even knowing that, though, she can't even bring herself to be nervous around him.
Mabel shakes her head forcefully.]
No way! I don't think you ever would, so I never worry about it. You're my friend, Killua-- I trust you!
[She says it confidently, like there's no other option. He's a good guy, case closed.]
[He watches his owm hands as she reacts, curling his fingers one by one. The answer was so immediate, but he can't say he's surprised by the answer. Worry lifts but an imprint remains in the back of his mind with the rest. Raising that hand, he rubs at his forehead a little, pausing when Mabel speaks those last words so confidently.
He looks over like he's caught off guard before blinking away to try and hide the smallest bit of blush at his cheeks.]
Y-yeah. Well, good! We're friends! [It's amazing to think that he can have people like this around him. How? He swore with everything in his soul that he'd never hurt a friend, but fear can linger when all the powerful adults around him press this into him. For now, though, he lets it fade away, a smile slowly taking over the sheepish look on his face.
He looks back to her now.] Let's hurry and have some ice cream before it melts!
He looks over like he's caught off guard before blinking away to try and hide the smallest bit of blush at his cheeks.]
Y-yeah. Well, good! We're friends! [It's amazing to think that he can have people like this around him. How? He swore with everything in his soul that he'd never hurt a friend, but fear can linger when all the powerful adults around him press this into him. For now, though, he lets it fade away, a smile slowly taking over the sheepish look on his face.
He looks back to her now.] Let's hurry and have some ice cream before it melts!
I'm not going to stop training.
[With that being the first thing he says, it might come off as worrying. He's staring down at his own hands, now, after shifting to cross legs himself. Occasionally, he'll allow some of his nen to spark like lightning between his thumb and index finger. A nervous habit in front of anyone he's okay with showing his abilities to.
Only a second passes before he's quick to add on:] But I guess I can take some breaks and stuff. [He's not at home, here. And while there were things he needed to prepare for, he could do that steadily, as if he were still with Gon. ...Yeah. That sounded good.]
Like right now, I guess! What have you been doing lately, Jaime?
[With that being the first thing he says, it might come off as worrying. He's staring down at his own hands, now, after shifting to cross legs himself. Occasionally, he'll allow some of his nen to spark like lightning between his thumb and index finger. A nervous habit in front of anyone he's okay with showing his abilities to.
Only a second passes before he's quick to add on:] But I guess I can take some breaks and stuff. [He's not at home, here. And while there were things he needed to prepare for, he could do that steadily, as if he were still with Gon. ...Yeah. That sounded good.]
Like right now, I guess! What have you been doing lately, Jaime?
I wouldn't tell you to stop entirely. Just take some breaks every now and then.
[More than 'every now and then' would be ideal, but tiny steps! It's probably good that Killua continues his training. If there's one thing that Jaime's learned about his own training, it's that it's not at all about trying to get stronger - it's about controlling that strength. That's something that Killua needs to keep up, knowing even the small amount that he does.
As for what he's been doing...]
Eh, nothing interesting. Been doing a lotta Christmas shopping, and showing a few people some of the celebrations.
[He and Bart went on a cross-country tour of Christmas events of America, because that's a responsible use of superpowers.]
Oh! Speaking of which - if Gon and Alluka aren't back by Christmas, you can come and spend Christmas with me and Brenda, if you like.
[More than 'every now and then' would be ideal, but tiny steps! It's probably good that Killua continues his training. If there's one thing that Jaime's learned about his own training, it's that it's not at all about trying to get stronger - it's about controlling that strength. That's something that Killua needs to keep up, knowing even the small amount that he does.
As for what he's been doing...]
Eh, nothing interesting. Been doing a lotta Christmas shopping, and showing a few people some of the celebrations.
[He and Bart went on a cross-country tour of Christmas events of America, because that's a responsible use of superpowers.]
Oh! Speaking of which - if Gon and Alluka aren't back by Christmas, you can come and spend Christmas with me and Brenda, if you like.
[ she doesn't know him very well, but wanted to extend some sort of gesture. it seemed the respectable thing to do after their spar last month. so, she made him a navy scarf and filled a tin with some christmas cookies, wrapped them up and snuck into his house to leave them under the tree. that isn't weird at all, right? ]
[She smiles at him in return, full of relief. If he's anything like Dipper (and he is pretty fond of long-winded explanations of stuff, so yeah, they do have a thing or two in common) then he'll probably need multiple reassurances, but that's okay. Mabel's not sure if awkward friend hugs are a thing, but she might need to make it a thing.
And, privately, she promises herself if she ever meets Killua's brother she is going to give him a piece of her mind. The jerk!!]
Yeah! And then we'll do cool, non-dangerous and fun things. Since you're on vacation from school, you need to make the most of it.
And, privately, she promises herself if she ever meets Killua's brother she is going to give him a piece of her mind. The jerk!!]
Yeah! And then we'll do cool, non-dangerous and fun things. Since you're on vacation from school, you need to make the most of it.
[It's good, he thinks, that Jaime brought this up to him. Honestly, he'd been so focused on training that he hadn't realized he could be doing it too much. But there really was a difference between trying to push himself 24/7 and Bisky putting him on a schedule. There was no second perspective to look at his improvement from an objective view. There was no guidance. He could be making things worse.
He smiles a little, thinking fondly of the friendships he's gained here when Jaime brings up Christmas.
At that, he looks surprised.]
Eh?? Really? [Half disbelieving and half touched, he points at himself.] But I don't even know who Brenda is! Would she really be okay with something like that?
[It sounds like an interruption more than anything.]
He smiles a little, thinking fondly of the friendships he's gained here when Jaime brings up Christmas.
At that, he looks surprised.]
Eh?? Really? [Half disbelieving and half touched, he points at himself.] But I don't even know who Brenda is! Would she really be okay with something like that?
[It sounds like an interruption more than anything.]
[Mabel no... that's not a good idea to have in mind ever.]
Yeah!
[Building up from the optimistic excitement, Killua beams, himself. Sticking a spoon into each bowl, he helps finish up with the toppings before putting them away. From there, he grabs his own bowl and moves to the table, hopping into one of the seats there.]
Hmm. [Eventually, he's thinking, the spoon hanging out of his mouth and wiggling a little as idly lets one of his legs swing forward and back.] But what sort of things could we do? What do you usually do for fun, Mabel?
Yeah!
[Building up from the optimistic excitement, Killua beams, himself. Sticking a spoon into each bowl, he helps finish up with the toppings before putting them away. From there, he grabs his own bowl and moves to the table, hopping into one of the seats there.]
Hmm. [Eventually, he's thinking, the spoon hanging out of his mouth and wiggling a little as idly lets one of his legs swing forward and back.] But what sort of things could we do? What do you usually do for fun, Mabel?
[Making a list in her head, she disregards most of the things she does on her own. Killua's good at drawing, so arts and crafts would probably be boring, and he wouldn't get the appeal of reading books about dreamy vampires. So Mabel takes an extra long time to finish off her bit of ice cream to give herself a moment to think about the kind of things a boy would want to do.]
Well, Dipper and I went to the arcade a couple times! That was fun. [Except for when the video game characters came to life and tried to fight everybody but eh, details.] And sometimes we make up things like rolly chair races and trying to tape each other to walls and stuff. I dunno, usually we just go exploring and fun or weird things happen out of nowhere.
Well, Dipper and I went to the arcade a couple times! That was fun. [Except for when the video game characters came to life and tried to fight everybody but eh, details.] And sometimes we make up things like rolly chair races and trying to tape each other to walls and stuff. I dunno, usually we just go exploring and fun or weird things happen out of nowhere.
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