[He's so mad, and probably the only thing keeping him calm is the fact that he should be calm for Jaime's sake. There's benefits to friendship!! He swears.]
im not a killer anymore
[This isn't helping, he realizes, even as he sends it. He's just playing into his hand, isn't he? Out of aggravation, he gets a little more bold again.]
[No, no there aren't. Stop at once. Not that Illumi is aware of where Killua is or who he's with, but on PRINCIPLE...
That said, Killua still seems to think he can walk away from being a Zoldyck. That's not how it works - it's impossible. Illumi has believed that for long enough, the alternative is truly alien.
Which is probably why he's still talking as if this is a natural conversation and not Killua repeatedly trying to get away from his responses, in the end.]
It isn't something you can quit. You weren't born for anything else but this.
[He considers, then chooses not to rise to that bait. Instead, icily:]
[It's those words that strike him personally. Everything Illumi has said has been pointed and harmful to the state of his mind right now, but this especially. A weapon?
The feelings he felt while Gon was missing resurface. Hisoka's words about him letting Gon get hurt in the future. Emotionally, he cracks a little.
A weapon... He's not a weapon! He doesn't want to be, not anymore! That's exactly why he quiet, and why he's traveling with Gon now! Did Illumi think he could just drag him back to this?! No, he wasn't going to! He wasn't going to lose his friend, he wasn't going to let him get hurt, he wasn't-- (These were lies. Already, he was lying.)
He almost replies, but he forces the phone down, clutching it tightly. No.
[Illumi waits a few minutes, after his last message. As they drag on, he assumes he finally hit his mark; there's still, apparently, a part of Killua he can press under his thumb until it cracks, and the rest of his resolve crumbles. He'd expected a little more fire, truthfully - a little more threats to take action, rather than nothing but refusals down the line until he broke.
Odd. Maybe it's because Alluka is gone. Their attachment has always sat poorly with Illumi, and it stands to reason it's causing Killua problems even now.
But with Killua apparently down for the count - it's been several minutes now, and nothing - Illumi thinks he might as well move on for the moment to other things. This city might be unfamiliar, but he's tracked Killua across entire continents before, so what exactly is a few more city blocks? He can wait.
He will.
Not, however, without a final comment, just when it seems like he might keep his mouth shut. He has the nerve to use that tone again, brittle-bright:]
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no subject
im not a killer anymore
[This isn't helping, he realizes, even as he sends it. He's just playing into his hand, isn't he? Out of aggravation, he gets a little more bold again.]
you still cant find me
no subject
That said, Killua still seems to think he can walk away from being a Zoldyck. That's not how it works - it's impossible. Illumi has believed that for long enough, the alternative is truly alien.
Which is probably why he's still talking as if this is a natural conversation and not Killua repeatedly trying to get away from his responses, in the end.]
It isn't something you can quit. You weren't born for anything else but this.
[He considers, then chooses not to rise to that bait. Instead, icily:]
What do you think you are if not a weapon?
no subject
The feelings he felt while Gon was missing resurface. Hisoka's words about him letting Gon get hurt in the future. Emotionally, he cracks a little.
A weapon... He's not a weapon! He doesn't want to be, not anymore! That's exactly why he quiet, and why he's traveling with Gon now! Did Illumi think he could just drag him back to this?! No, he wasn't going to! He wasn't going to lose his friend, he wasn't going to let him get hurt, he wasn't-- (These were lies. Already, he was lying.)
He almost replies, but he forces the phone down, clutching it tightly. No.
He did quit.]
no subject
Odd. Maybe it's because Alluka is gone. Their attachment has always sat poorly with Illumi, and it stands to reason it's causing Killua problems even now.
But with Killua apparently down for the count - it's been several minutes now, and nothing - Illumi thinks he might as well move on for the moment to other things. This city might be unfamiliar, but he's tracked Killua across entire continents before, so what exactly is a few more city blocks? He can wait.
He will.
Not, however, without a final comment, just when it seems like he might keep his mouth shut. He has the nerve to use that tone again, brittle-bright:]
Mind your place, Killua. I'll see you soon.